Dreams die
by FallingStars111
Summary: Things don't always turn out like we'd hoped they would. RHr... sort of. Rating just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: since you see these on every single one you read, I won't go into specifics, but I don't own anything.**

**Author's note: generally speaking, I don't write angst, nor do I like it much either, but I had a particularly bad day today, and this just kind of came out.**

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It was funny, really. This was very similar to what I'd always imagined my wedding would be like. It's so cliché, and its so terribly ironic. White dress, roses, friends and family all around. And here I am, standing at the alter, right next to the man I love… and that's where the irony begins. Because, you see, I'm not really right next to the man I love, there's someone in between us. And I'm not really at the alter, I'm to the side of it. Oh well, at least part of this girlhood fantasy has come true. The man of my dreams _is_ standing at the alter…but he has his lovely bride-to-be beside him. Yes, here I am, as maid of honor, when I wish with all my heart I was the bride. Most of the women in here are crying, I suppose, and I admit that I've just barely suppressed the urge to do so myself. But whatever tears may have accidentally leaked from my eyes were not tears of joy. Oh no, those were tears of pain. And tonight, when I'm making idle chatter with the guests, the smile I'll wear is not one that expresses my happiness for the newlyweds, no, it will be a smile to cover up the deep and painful ache in my soul. Over the past few weeks, many friends of ours have come up to me, saying, "you know, Hermione, I'd always thought that you and Ron would somehow end up together, funny how these things change." So I'd smile and agree, yes it is funny, but truthfully, its not funny at all. Its heart wrenching, that's what it is.

Back at hogwarts, we fought all the time. It really annoyed people, I think. I always used to trick myself into believing that there was more behind those arguments, that they were covering up true feelings. I know that they were for me. And as we grew older, and he became more sure of himself, I managed to convince myself that when he looked at me, there was something in his eyes, just a tiny spark, that couldn't be explained by mere friendship. When he'd hug me goodbye, before he and Harry went off to play quidditch is a foreign country, I always thought that he hugged me for a little longer than necessary, maybe because he hated to leave me. Whenever we took walks together, just the two of us, I always expected him to spontaneously say something kind and caring and subtle, that would let me know how he felt. But he never did say anything, and perhaps in those arguments, he was simply annoyed with me, and maybe there wasn't anything hidden behind his eyes, and maybe those hugs were just long enough, but no longer than Harry's.

Through all this, everyday, I managed to tell myself that today would be the day, today I'd get some sign from him, and everyday my hopes were smashed. But I'd wake up the next day, with those same hopes, only to have them crushed by nightfall. I told myself, over and over, to give it up, that he felt nothing for me, but I couldn't. I guess I still wanted my fairytale ending. You laugh, right? Hermione Granger, expecting a fairytale ending, and a ride into the sunset? No, you say, that could never be. Sorry to disappoint you but yes, it could be, and it is. Perhaps my practicality in the rest of my life is to makes up for the absurd hopes I hold close to my heart. Through all that, I still hoped we might have something.

And then I met Laura, and therefore, so did he. She was-_ is_ charming, witty, playful, kind, or so I hear. I've heard days worth of him talking about how _wonderful _and _amazing_ she is. In retrospect, I suppose this is all my fault. Harry and Ron had urged me to get a job at the ministry, one that would allow me to travel, so that I could come with them whenever they went away to play quidditch in who-knows-where. I continuously refused their urges, deciding instead to become a healer at St. Mungo's. I met Laura there, and we soon became friends, she helped to fill the gaps left by Ron and Harry whenever they were away. I introduced her to them a little while later, and when Laura told me she was interested in Ron, there was nothing I could do but to sit back and hope that their relationship wouldn't work out. I couldn't very well tell her that he was off limits because I was in love with him already, even though he showed no sign of returning my feelings. So when they started dating, I simply had to smile and be happy for them, and when they'd have a fight, I'd comfort her, hoping she'd decide he wasn't worth her time. But she never did, and a year later the two were announcing their engagement. Even then, I still had a lingering hope that he'd wake up and realize that I was really the one he wanted, or that this was all just a charade to make me jealous. No such words have come though, and as they exchange their rings, I am forced to admit that he never loved me, and he never will.

And so in a few minutes they will walk back down the aisle, as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and in a month, Harry and Ginny will have their first child. They will go on with their lives, and raise many beautiful children, and grandchildren. I, however, will not. Because today is the day all my dreams die. And in a few months, I'll tell them that I have accepted a transfer to an American hospital, where they desperately need experienced healers. I will keep in touch, for a while. After that, we'll drift apart, and I'll built myself a new life, it won't be happy, but I will be content, content to live out my life alone, doing whatever I can to pass the time. I do not wish to die, but my inclination towards living is not as strong as it used to be. For the man I love just married another, and all my dreams have died.

**A/N:I would appreciate reviews, and if you really didn't like it, please tell me so.it really doesn't take much effort to push that little button**


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